Dreams of Daniel
by Sarah1281
Summary: Not all of Regina's nightmares involve losing Henry or the peons remembering themselves and coming after her. Sometimes, Regina dreams of Daniel and tries to pretend she doesn't know what he'd think of her quest for vengeance, for justice.


Dreams of Daniel

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time.

Regina knew where she was immediately though she hadn't been there for so many years.

Not since she had nearly beaten Snow White.

It was strange how every time she had nearly won only to have her cursed stepdaughter snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, she vowed to just kill her the next time but every time the time came to try again she got a better idea. Destroying everything Snow valued and forcing her to live in the shell of the anti-Snow was so much more satisfying than simply killing her. Mary Margaret herself was only vaguely unhappy but Regina knew just how livid and horrified Snow would have been and that was enough.

She knew she must be dreaming. Emma couldn't have _accidentally_ broken the curse she didn't even believe in without Regina even noticing. She wasn't really back in her own land. But she still hadn't been here, even asleep, in such a long time.

She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the stable that had once been her whole world. It wasn't real but her memory seemed to make it so.

"Regina."

That soft voice stopped her heart. It had been four decades since she'd last heard her name spoken in such a way but it may as well have been yesterday.

"Daniel…" Regina said, pretending not to notice the slight tremor in her voice. It had been too long for her to remain completely unaffected. She remained rooted to the spot.

"Turn around, Regina," Daniel said gently.

"I can't," Regina admitted, hating herself for her weakness. She couldn't help it, though. She didn't know what she'd find but she feared it either way. She would either see him for the first time since Snow had ruined everything or she'd see nothing and lose him again.

She felt the slight pressure of fingertips on her back and froze. The fingers danced around to her front and she found herself face-to-face with her true love.

"_Daniel_!" she exclaimed again, so much more pain and joy in her voice than there had been before.

He looked the same as he always had, so young and earnest and completely in love with her. It _hurt_.

He smiled wistfully. "Oh, how I've missed you!"

"You're dead," Regina replied, her tone completely flat.

Daniel nodded his head. "And the dead can't feel? Can't watch down on those that they love and be happy that they live but still long to see them again?"

Regina's breath caught. Daniel had been watching over her all this time? Then he'd seen…But this wasn't real. It was a dream and she had to remember that. But she had felt his touch, as solid as anything.

"And?"

Daniel blinked curiously at her. "And what, Regina?"

"You said you've been watching me," Regina reminded him.

"I have," Daniel agreed.

All this time and he still wasn't going to make this easy for her. "And…what do you think?"

Daniel's eyes darkened in a way they never had when he was alive and Regina instantly regretted her question but it couldn't be unasked and she had to know.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that," Daniel admitted so quietly she could barely hear him.

It was like a cold dagger in her side. "How could I not?"

Daniel smiled ruefully. "You never could leave well enough alone."

"If I did, I'd never have moved beyond _my husband's_ beautiful arm-piece and the chosen mother figure of his darling Snow," Regina insisted, unapologetic and fierce.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Daniel said, staring straight at her.

Regina gazed back at him unflinchingly. "I couldn't live like that, Daniel. You know that. You know _me_."

Daniel tilted his head as though puzzled. "Do I? I must confess to being much less sure than you seem to be."

Regina stepped back, stung, then quickly stepped forward again once she realized what she was doing. "How can you say that?"

"I never understood the games of mages and kings," Daniel said, refusing to meet her eyes. "It's all so far beyond me, all of this. I was a groom and I understood horses. I thought I understood you, too, but-"

"You do!" Regina burst out.

"You're a queen, Regina," Daniel told her. "You always deserved it and now you have it. And from what I've seen, your magic is second only to the Dark One's. Tell me, where do I belong in this world of your creation? Where does even the memory of me fit in?"

"That…that's just details. Trappings. I'm the same woman that I've always been," Regina said, trying to fight the rising desperation. She hadn't changed, she'd just grown stronger and finally seen the truth of her life. But if she couldn't convince Daniel, Daniel who this was all for…

"The Regina that I knew would never have hurt and killed so many people and trapped everyone in a strange magic-deprived world were they're denied even _themselves_." The disgust on his face was palpable and impossible to ignore.

"She would have and she did," Regina responded as calmly as she could.

"Then I never knew her at all and I loved a lie," Daniel said simply.

Her legs buckled and Daniel caught her automatically and held her until she was steady again.

"I don't believe that's true, though," Daniel continued as he released her. "I believe you have changed."

Regina found her voice. This wasn't real. "So what if I have. You died, Daniel, and I loved you. I couldn't just stay the same girl that I was before."

Daniel winced, unspeakable pain on his face. "Don't," he choked out.

A dozen emotions flashed through Regina's eyes. "Don't do what?"

"Don't place all of this at my feet," Daniel pleaded.

Regina frowned. "I-I'm not blaming you. My decisions are my own."

"You say that you did this because of me," Daniel said hollowly. "You killed your-your _husband_. You've terrorized your stepdaughter so thoroughly that I'm amazed she came through this intact. You tore Hansel and Gretel from their father. You abducted and imprisoned Belle. You stole the Huntsman's heart and _raped_ him-"

She couldn't stand to hear the litany of her deeds, not from him and not with that condemnation.

"You were dead, Daniel," she said again. "And I had to go on without you. I knew that I would never get another true love and furthermore I wasn't given the opportunity to _try_. I was quickly married off to King Leopold. And Snow…I was supposed to _mother _her."

"It wasn't her fault," Daniel said quietly.

Regina was trembling again, this time from rage. "Not her fault? Daniel, how can you even say that? _She killed you_."

"_Cora_ killed me," Daniel corrected. "And we always knew that she would. That's why we never told her."

Regina seized on that. "And how did my mother find out? Snow told her after she promised that she wouldn't. I knew that my mother was evil but _I trusted her_."

"She was just a child, Regina," Daniel said tiredly.

"She knew what she was doing," Regina said stubbornly. "Even she'll admit that she's at fault."

"You planted that idea in her head and she grew up with it. She's also good enough to feel responsible when it's not her fault." Daniel held up a hand to hold off her protests. "And don't tell me she has no goodness. You knew she'd eat that apple to save her prince and meet you alone to save her friends. People older and wiser than a ten-year-old princess have fallen victim to your mother before and she thought she was helping you. Cora convinced her that she had your best interests at heart and just wanted to understand."

"Being _well-meaning_ doesn't negate the effects of your actions," Regina argued.

"No but it's a bit much to decide her well-meaning attempts to help you make her evil and deserving of ultimate suffering," Daniel said pointedly.

Regina said nothing. She had devoted her entire life to making Snow suffer and she wasn't about to change her mind now. She couldn't. She'd gone too far.

"And…" He sounded strangely hesitant.

"And?" Regina repeated encouragingly.

"I've been thinking about it and, Snow or no Snow, we were doomed from the beginning," Daniel confessed, his eyes full of heartbreak.

Regina couldn't breathe. "D-Don't say that!"

"If Snow had said nothing and we ran away, what makes you think that your mother wouldn't have found us?" Daniel demanded. "She set up everything with Snow and Leopold and she killed me so easily."

"You don't _know_ that," Regina said stubbornly. "You can speculate but it didn't happen and so you don't know."

"I suppose that is true," Daniel acknowledged.

"But _I_ know. I know how things _did_ work out. And there's nothing that she can ever do to make up for that," Regina declared boldly.

Daniel looked lost.

"What?" Regina asked, alarmed.

"It doesn't matter," Daniel said quietly, shaking his head.

"I love you, Daniel. It matters," Regina said hotly.

"Do you? Do you really?" Daniel demanded, sounding honestly curious.

He might as well have slapped her.

"How can you even say that?" Regina demanded. "After everything I've done-"

"Everything you've done is the problem," Daniel interrupted. "You've destroyed _everything_ – quite intentionally – and if you ever knew me at all then you'd know that I would never want this."

Regina's eyes softened. "You always were too good for your own good."

"You never used to think that," Daniel told her.

Icicles in her stomach. "Daniel-"

"I didn't want to admit it but I've been feeling this way for a long time now," Daniel cut her off again. "The woman I love is dead."

Regina didn't say anything, didn't even process the words.

"Regina?" Daniel asked hesitantly as if he had any right to be concerned.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Regina requested, blinking.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said earnestly and, strangely, he looked as if he really meant it. "But it is true and it is not of my doing."

"I don't understand," Regina said helplessly. She could feel the magic rising up within her, begging to be released and to burn _everything_ but she couldn't. This was Daniel. Or rather this was a dream.

Daniel looked sad. "Then you have not been listening. All of this that you have done…you say it's for me but it cannot be because I never wanted this. And you've changed so much…I know it has been a long time and I couldn't expect you to remain the same but it's too much."

"And so you're abandoning me," Regina said, the swirling magic making it difficult for her to remain calm but she thought she did a passable job.

"I'm dead, Regina, dead and gone," Daniel reminded her. "I'm as here and gone as I ever was. But I look at you and it's like your mother is looking back at me."

Her hand flew on its own and Daniel's quickly followed it, clutching his cheek and gazing at her in horror.

"I-I'm sorry," Regina tried to apologize. "I didn't mean-But don't say that!"

"I wonder if you would have reacted so strongly if you had not suspected it to be true," Daniel said quietly.

"I am nothing like her!" Regina shouted. "She was…she was evil and cruel and destroyed my life, destroyed my _love_!"

"And just what," Daniel said slowly, "do you think you've done to _the entire world_? Your evil far surpasses anything your mother dared dream."

Regina lost control then and the magic exploded out of her and sent Daniel flying. His head collided with the stable wall and he landed with a sickening thud.

Regina was at his side in an instant, reaching down and checking for a pulse or some other form of life. Even in a dream, she didn't want to see him dead. Couldn't see him dead.

But there was none. She had killed this dream-Daniel just as surely as Snow had killed her real Daniel.

Regina's eyes flew open. She was in her Storybrooke bedroom, just as she had known she would be. She slowly sat up and then took a moment to compose herself before going about her day.

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